Hello blog!
Yes, its been a while. Reality has a way of interfering with the things we really want to do.
Next week it will be official. I will be legally single again. I really don't want to talk any more about the things that caused that to become a new reality for me. I am trying to change my focus in life. I dwell way too much on the past and wanting to change the things that I can't change. I have to separate myself better from the things that trigger those emotions.
So I reached out and called a friend.
Turns out this friend is like me in that she knows a lot of people, but she doesn't really have many friends to just hang out with. Most the woman I know that are my age, are well, not into doing too many silly things, or they are married or dating. This friend is married, but she really wants to have a girl's night out. So we are going to see "Sex in the City 2" and then go to, are you ready for it? A drag queen show!
I guess you could say this officially kicks off my bucket list accomplishements.
So far, I have completed the following:
1. I got tenure. Let's here it for job security!
2. I learned to repair a screen door. Google is your friend!
3. I got over my fear and filed for divorce. Life is too short to live it in fear.
4. I'm learning to enjoy going out by myself. Staying at home is boring.
Now those aren't actually bucket list worthy, but I'm new at this bucket list thing.
My biggest goal in life is to finally go on a cruise. I have never been on one, and for YEARS I was promised that we would go, and for YEARS it went unfilled. So, I'm going to make my own dreams happen, and I'm going to take my daughter along with me!
I was thinking of something simple, a cruise about the Caribbean, but you know, if I'm going to do this, why not do this large? I would LOVE to go to South America. Okay, that is going to be pricey, and we will need passports, so I will have to get a passport this year for myself and my daughter. Yup, not cheap I know to make this dream come true, and it may not be until she graduates from high school, but I will make it come true.
There is one thing I am very proud of in my life. When I started to make promises to my kids and myself, I came through. I honestly still do not fully comprehend how I was able to go from unemployed to employed in about 5 minutes like I did when I got my teaching job, but who am I to doubt the verse that says "through Christ, all things are possible."
I have reflected a lot lately on what it will be like to be completely on my own. I have been a partner and a mate for nearly all of my adult life. So many things in society are still geared at couples. Even for vacation bible school, they wanted "married couples" to head the family groups. There is so much emphasis on being coupled, its no wonder we have so many people rushing into marriages they don't really belong in just to fit in. I have a lot of restructuring of my mind to do still.
Last night wasn't easy after having my ex here during the day to do yard work with the kids. We were a family again for a few brief moments, but then he left to take the kids to dinner and I was alone.
I cried a bit, but I took myself out, and then I did what I said I should do and never did, and called a friend.
I took a chance on rejection, and it paid off.
Nicholas Cage said in the movie "Ghost Rider," "You can't live in fear."
I no longer have the option of hiding behind someone else. I have to take the risks, and when I am rejected, I have to shake it off, and move on to the next opportunity.
Welcome to my reality. Let's share it.
Yes, its been a while. Reality has a way of interfering with the things we really want to do.
Next week it will be official. I will be legally single again. I really don't want to talk any more about the things that caused that to become a new reality for me. I am trying to change my focus in life. I dwell way too much on the past and wanting to change the things that I can't change. I have to separate myself better from the things that trigger those emotions.
So I reached out and called a friend.
Turns out this friend is like me in that she knows a lot of people, but she doesn't really have many friends to just hang out with. Most the woman I know that are my age, are well, not into doing too many silly things, or they are married or dating. This friend is married, but she really wants to have a girl's night out. So we are going to see "Sex in the City 2" and then go to, are you ready for it? A drag queen show!
I guess you could say this officially kicks off my bucket list accomplishements.
So far, I have completed the following:
1. I got tenure. Let's here it for job security!
2. I learned to repair a screen door. Google is your friend!
3. I got over my fear and filed for divorce. Life is too short to live it in fear.
4. I'm learning to enjoy going out by myself. Staying at home is boring.
Now those aren't actually bucket list worthy, but I'm new at this bucket list thing.
My biggest goal in life is to finally go on a cruise. I have never been on one, and for YEARS I was promised that we would go, and for YEARS it went unfilled. So, I'm going to make my own dreams happen, and I'm going to take my daughter along with me!
I was thinking of something simple, a cruise about the Caribbean, but you know, if I'm going to do this, why not do this large? I would LOVE to go to South America. Okay, that is going to be pricey, and we will need passports, so I will have to get a passport this year for myself and my daughter. Yup, not cheap I know to make this dream come true, and it may not be until she graduates from high school, but I will make it come true.
There is one thing I am very proud of in my life. When I started to make promises to my kids and myself, I came through. I honestly still do not fully comprehend how I was able to go from unemployed to employed in about 5 minutes like I did when I got my teaching job, but who am I to doubt the verse that says "through Christ, all things are possible."
I have reflected a lot lately on what it will be like to be completely on my own. I have been a partner and a mate for nearly all of my adult life. So many things in society are still geared at couples. Even for vacation bible school, they wanted "married couples" to head the family groups. There is so much emphasis on being coupled, its no wonder we have so many people rushing into marriages they don't really belong in just to fit in. I have a lot of restructuring of my mind to do still.
Last night wasn't easy after having my ex here during the day to do yard work with the kids. We were a family again for a few brief moments, but then he left to take the kids to dinner and I was alone.
I cried a bit, but I took myself out, and then I did what I said I should do and never did, and called a friend.
I took a chance on rejection, and it paid off.
Nicholas Cage said in the movie "Ghost Rider," "You can't live in fear."
I no longer have the option of hiding behind someone else. I have to take the risks, and when I am rejected, I have to shake it off, and move on to the next opportunity.
Welcome to my reality. Let's share it.
