I am frustrated.
Today (Now June 3rd, though it still feels as June 2.) I was to hear from my husband if he is willing to commit to a healing separation, and use the time for self-growth and healing as we work to try and restore our marriage. Evidently, there were things that came up and he didn't leave for Memphis until later in the day, which meant that he never thought about or read the material I gave him. (Of course, he did have that time at the motel the evening before.)
So, having not read the material, or even thought of it on the road as he said he would, he has postponed his decision and further discussion with me till the evening of the 3rd. Assuming some other barrier does not come up.
So, I'm sitting here trying to "be still and know" that God is God, and he will work in his own time, and if it is his will that I move on alone, then I guess I will find out when he reveals it to me.
I said in a much earlier entry that I fully believe in angels now. That God does intercede when needed if we have a heart that is open to receive. I told of the young man's t-shirt that read on the back, "Lo I am with you always." (Matt. 28:20) It was that afternoon that I received a text by my husband to tell me a letter was left waiting for me.
Today, I walked out to the prayer garden on the college campus that I take course work at. A beautiful spot that overlooks the mountains. In the garden were three large rough stone that had passages inscribed upon them. I had never bothered in over a year to walk up and read the stones, but today I stood with my coffee and read the first one.
"Be still and know that I am God."
I stood and contemplated it a moment and moved to the second.
"I lift up my eyes to the hills, from where does my strength come from? It comes from the Lord."
I looked up at a perfect view of the local mountain framed by the trees in the garden.
God interceded today to remind me that he is God and he is in control. So as I sit here frustrated I reflect back on my experience in that prayer garden and I put it back onto God to control. I will have my answer soon enough and no amount of frustration or worry will change that outcome, because I can't control this outcome.
So I say it again,
"God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I can not, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Time to sleep now. I have a presentation tomorrow and I must shine.
Today (Now June 3rd, though it still feels as June 2.) I was to hear from my husband if he is willing to commit to a healing separation, and use the time for self-growth and healing as we work to try and restore our marriage. Evidently, there were things that came up and he didn't leave for Memphis until later in the day, which meant that he never thought about or read the material I gave him. (Of course, he did have that time at the motel the evening before.)
So, having not read the material, or even thought of it on the road as he said he would, he has postponed his decision and further discussion with me till the evening of the 3rd. Assuming some other barrier does not come up.
So, I'm sitting here trying to "be still and know" that God is God, and he will work in his own time, and if it is his will that I move on alone, then I guess I will find out when he reveals it to me.
I said in a much earlier entry that I fully believe in angels now. That God does intercede when needed if we have a heart that is open to receive. I told of the young man's t-shirt that read on the back, "Lo I am with you always." (Matt. 28:20) It was that afternoon that I received a text by my husband to tell me a letter was left waiting for me.
Today, I walked out to the prayer garden on the college campus that I take course work at. A beautiful spot that overlooks the mountains. In the garden were three large rough stone that had passages inscribed upon them. I had never bothered in over a year to walk up and read the stones, but today I stood with my coffee and read the first one.
"Be still and know that I am God."
I stood and contemplated it a moment and moved to the second.
"I lift up my eyes to the hills, from where does my strength come from? It comes from the Lord."
I looked up at a perfect view of the local mountain framed by the trees in the garden.
God interceded today to remind me that he is God and he is in control. So as I sit here frustrated I reflect back on my experience in that prayer garden and I put it back onto God to control. I will have my answer soon enough and no amount of frustration or worry will change that outcome, because I can't control this outcome.
So I say it again,
"God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I can not, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Time to sleep now. I have a presentation tomorrow and I must shine.
