I didn't want to, but I had to.
My husband refused to move on divorcing me, but yet he insisted that is what he wanted. So, I did it for him. This week I hired a lawyer and he is drawing up the paperwork and as long as my soon-to-be ex signs off, in 90 days I'll be free.
I don't feel anything. I'm not sad, which then makes me sad for not feeling it.
I guess I'm a bit relieved. He was here today, and he was happy. He was getting what he wanted and I was doing it for him. He was agreeable and cooperative and we were working toward fixing things in the house and talking parenting. It was as if nothing was changed between us. How delusional I was to believe this man ever loved me and that we had a real marriage. I wanted to ask again "why can't we stay married?" I didn't though. I knew when I paid my check it was non-refundable and I didn't want to go back on it or bring him back into my life again. I was getting along with him, not because I wanted him but because I knew he was leaving soon and I wouldn't have him around to keep me in turmoil.
I feel good about this choice. It is the right choice, not for the reason he wants, but because the kids and I do deserve better then to be kept in his limbo. On top of everything else, he had the nerve to tell me that he was trying to file for divorce in his location but no one that side of the state would take it.
I guess lawyers are only licensed by county. /sarcasm
So I have gone full circle now. I was a professional chemist in training when I met him. I was capable and able to function quite well on my own.
I got married and lost myself in him and his moods and emotional abuse. I forgot for a long time just how capable I am and what I could do, but I woke up and I got back into action.
God is good and he opened all the right doors and windows. Meanwhile my STB-ex can not find new work, is living in an RV and would pay anything to me to get those papers to sign so he can "be free." He is a fool and he doesn't even realize it yet.
So now here I am, back to being a professional chemist and teacher. I am capable and able to function quite well on my own.
I pity the fool that tries to take that away from me again.
My husband refused to move on divorcing me, but yet he insisted that is what he wanted. So, I did it for him. This week I hired a lawyer and he is drawing up the paperwork and as long as my soon-to-be ex signs off, in 90 days I'll be free.
I don't feel anything. I'm not sad, which then makes me sad for not feeling it.
I guess I'm a bit relieved. He was here today, and he was happy. He was getting what he wanted and I was doing it for him. He was agreeable and cooperative and we were working toward fixing things in the house and talking parenting. It was as if nothing was changed between us. How delusional I was to believe this man ever loved me and that we had a real marriage. I wanted to ask again "why can't we stay married?" I didn't though. I knew when I paid my check it was non-refundable and I didn't want to go back on it or bring him back into my life again. I was getting along with him, not because I wanted him but because I knew he was leaving soon and I wouldn't have him around to keep me in turmoil.
I feel good about this choice. It is the right choice, not for the reason he wants, but because the kids and I do deserve better then to be kept in his limbo. On top of everything else, he had the nerve to tell me that he was trying to file for divorce in his location but no one that side of the state would take it.
I guess lawyers are only licensed by county. /sarcasm
So I have gone full circle now. I was a professional chemist in training when I met him. I was capable and able to function quite well on my own.
I got married and lost myself in him and his moods and emotional abuse. I forgot for a long time just how capable I am and what I could do, but I woke up and I got back into action.
God is good and he opened all the right doors and windows. Meanwhile my STB-ex can not find new work, is living in an RV and would pay anything to me to get those papers to sign so he can "be free." He is a fool and he doesn't even realize it yet.
So now here I am, back to being a professional chemist and teacher. I am capable and able to function quite well on my own.
I pity the fool that tries to take that away from me again.
