I've been attending two closed group sessions this month. The first is a standard 12-step recovery modeled after the famous AA program. It is my goal to re-frame my thinking away from the unhealthy choices I have made in terms of relationships, and learn to improve the current ones that I have. I especially hope to make sure I don't fall into the same traps that put me in unhealthy love relationships. Sadly that included my current husband. As I've mentioned before, his lack of wanting and getting help for his own issues prevents me from investing any more emotionally into him.
The second group is focused directly on divorce recovery and its lead by my current therapist. She is helping me prepare my mind to make the final separation and pursue a divorce. My heart still tugs at me to not give up on my husband, but he gave up on himself a long time ago, and there is absolutely nothing i can do for him now. So I am working to prepare myself, and hopefully make the transition go as easy as possible.
My homework for that later group was to write a good-bye letter to him. I don't think I will be sending it too him, and unless he has figured out how to find this blog, he most likely won't read it. Never say never of course, but it was not my intention for him to read it. Its for me really. My way of hopefully putting to rest the corpse that was once my marriage.
So, I'm off to write some drafts until I'm sure I have it how I want before I post it.
Tonight is also the last night my son will sleep in his own bed until Thanksgiving. He leaves for college tomorrow, and I couldn't be more happy for him, and more sad to see him go. It's his time to shine on his own, and my time to work on his sister to increase her confidence and self esteem. I have already seen a great deal of progress with her. She doesn't care for the stricter rules, but she isn't fighting me either which tells me she is growing up a bit and relaxing a bit.
Until my next update.
The second group is focused directly on divorce recovery and its lead by my current therapist. She is helping me prepare my mind to make the final separation and pursue a divorce. My heart still tugs at me to not give up on my husband, but he gave up on himself a long time ago, and there is absolutely nothing i can do for him now. So I am working to prepare myself, and hopefully make the transition go as easy as possible.
My homework for that later group was to write a good-bye letter to him. I don't think I will be sending it too him, and unless he has figured out how to find this blog, he most likely won't read it. Never say never of course, but it was not my intention for him to read it. Its for me really. My way of hopefully putting to rest the corpse that was once my marriage.
So, I'm off to write some drafts until I'm sure I have it how I want before I post it.
Tonight is also the last night my son will sleep in his own bed until Thanksgiving. He leaves for college tomorrow, and I couldn't be more happy for him, and more sad to see him go. It's his time to shine on his own, and my time to work on his sister to increase her confidence and self esteem. I have already seen a great deal of progress with her. She doesn't care for the stricter rules, but she isn't fighting me either which tells me she is growing up a bit and relaxing a bit.
Until my next update.
