Tonight my husband asked me out to play pool. I even got dinner out of it.
We talked a bit. Turns out he has been made a temporary director of the plant in the other city he has to be at all the time. He'll have to live there a while, but it shouldn't be permanent. Well at least yet.
We actually had a good dinner. We talked a bit. I asked if the stresses he has been feeling at work, (they are 1 million in the red right now) has anything to do with what our personal issues have become. He couldn't answer, because he didn't know. I accept that, because he really doesn't handle feelings well. We talked about the kids and putting money aside for my son's bassoon. We are working on this issue together and hopefully it will lead to a positive experience for him that we can work together.
I don't think he is ready to say he wants to reconcile yet. I think he does miss me some. I know I miss him. That said, I have to keep working on me to be healthy. I'm not there yet. He isn't either, but that is for him to work through. He admits that he has had to toughen up to answer some very sharp and detailed questions. So maybe he is learning some too.
Overall it was a small brick into a new foundation. Hopefully there will be more, but for tonight I accept it as a nice evening out. No more, no less. I'm happier that way.
Tomorrow I will go to church and enjoy the company of some new friends. I will also try to get some grading done. I think I will sleep okay tonight. No matter what happens with him, I know what I need to do to make it happen for me.
I'm grateful for this night. It was nice to spend time with my husband, even if it was just for a few hours. I'm grateful for the chance to keep things in perspective and to not put more into things then what was there. I'm grateful for the chance to continue to develop a more independent me.
I'm going to be okay. I will get through this. Alone or with him, I will get through this.
We talked a bit. Turns out he has been made a temporary director of the plant in the other city he has to be at all the time. He'll have to live there a while, but it shouldn't be permanent. Well at least yet.
We actually had a good dinner. We talked a bit. I asked if the stresses he has been feeling at work, (they are 1 million in the red right now) has anything to do with what our personal issues have become. He couldn't answer, because he didn't know. I accept that, because he really doesn't handle feelings well. We talked about the kids and putting money aside for my son's bassoon. We are working on this issue together and hopefully it will lead to a positive experience for him that we can work together.
I don't think he is ready to say he wants to reconcile yet. I think he does miss me some. I know I miss him. That said, I have to keep working on me to be healthy. I'm not there yet. He isn't either, but that is for him to work through. He admits that he has had to toughen up to answer some very sharp and detailed questions. So maybe he is learning some too.
Overall it was a small brick into a new foundation. Hopefully there will be more, but for tonight I accept it as a nice evening out. No more, no less. I'm happier that way.
Tomorrow I will go to church and enjoy the company of some new friends. I will also try to get some grading done. I think I will sleep okay tonight. No matter what happens with him, I know what I need to do to make it happen for me.
I'm grateful for this night. It was nice to spend time with my husband, even if it was just for a few hours. I'm grateful for the chance to keep things in perspective and to not put more into things then what was there. I'm grateful for the chance to continue to develop a more independent me.
I'm going to be okay. I will get through this. Alone or with him, I will get through this.
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