Tonight I got the best news of the day. My mom-in-law called and I got to talk to her for a bit. I had the kids send a card for Easter and she got it and called to tell the kids how nice it was. She asked to speak to me as well and we had a good chat. I was relieved to hear her say that she loved me and I was always welcome in her home.
She loves her son, but she loves me too. She was even happy to hear that I had joined a support group and was doing what I could to keep our family together. I think she knows that this will most likely not work out well and she was actually thinking I will be better off. If you don't see the depth of what she was saying, then you have never been in this position. My mom-in-law was supporting me.
I honestly do respect her, and she has truly been a wonderful mom-in-law. She was never interfering. She was always there to help whenever we asked. This was the last thing she wanted to see come from one of her own kids. She hates the whole idea of divorce. Sadly her son is under some delusion that he is better off without me. He is also under some delusion that his family has been harboring some great hatred of me. Like I wasn't good enough. He was the one that wasn't good enough.
I can't say this is how his sister feels. She hasn't spoken to me and ignored my last email. She is probably feeling some sense of fear of being in the middle. There is no middle to be in. It's my husband's doing. Not theirs.
I was just extremely relieved to know that in my mom in laws mind at least, I'm still her daughter. She and I have a lot in common that at least for us, family is the most important thing. My immediate family isn't close, and that was the last thing I wanted for my kids. I wanted us there for them. At least one of us will be. The other will be as well, but from a distance I guess.
I want to finish this entry though by saying what a joy today was. The weather was beautiful despite some thunder showers. I heard from my mom-in-law, and I found the kind of Easter candy I had been looking all over town for. The GOOD stuff, not the standard, usual stuff you see. I even got unique baskets. Finally, the kind of Easter we use to have.
My daughter invited a friend over for the night, and my son had his woodwind ensemble over to practice. The house was filled with music and laughter. My daughter and I got our hair done and our eyebrows waxed. Tomorrow the two of us and her friend will do our nails. It will be wonderful.
The grand finale was being able to play in my online game with my guild mates. We explored some of the elite areas and we got to finish my last campaign as my ranger. That was awesomeness for me. I got to do it without guilt, and with my daughter for the most part. It really was a good evening.
So, I'm not alone. I still have my mom-in-law's love, and I'm getting along just fine. I have friends. I have family.
I have me and that isn't such a bad thing to have either.
She loves her son, but she loves me too. She was even happy to hear that I had joined a support group and was doing what I could to keep our family together. I think she knows that this will most likely not work out well and she was actually thinking I will be better off. If you don't see the depth of what she was saying, then you have never been in this position. My mom-in-law was supporting me.
I honestly do respect her, and she has truly been a wonderful mom-in-law. She was never interfering. She was always there to help whenever we asked. This was the last thing she wanted to see come from one of her own kids. She hates the whole idea of divorce. Sadly her son is under some delusion that he is better off without me. He is also under some delusion that his family has been harboring some great hatred of me. Like I wasn't good enough. He was the one that wasn't good enough.
I can't say this is how his sister feels. She hasn't spoken to me and ignored my last email. She is probably feeling some sense of fear of being in the middle. There is no middle to be in. It's my husband's doing. Not theirs.
I was just extremely relieved to know that in my mom in laws mind at least, I'm still her daughter. She and I have a lot in common that at least for us, family is the most important thing. My immediate family isn't close, and that was the last thing I wanted for my kids. I wanted us there for them. At least one of us will be. The other will be as well, but from a distance I guess.
I want to finish this entry though by saying what a joy today was. The weather was beautiful despite some thunder showers. I heard from my mom-in-law, and I found the kind of Easter candy I had been looking all over town for. The GOOD stuff, not the standard, usual stuff you see. I even got unique baskets. Finally, the kind of Easter we use to have.
My daughter invited a friend over for the night, and my son had his woodwind ensemble over to practice. The house was filled with music and laughter. My daughter and I got our hair done and our eyebrows waxed. Tomorrow the two of us and her friend will do our nails. It will be wonderful.
The grand finale was being able to play in my online game with my guild mates. We explored some of the elite areas and we got to finish my last campaign as my ranger. That was awesomeness for me. I got to do it without guilt, and with my daughter for the most part. It really was a good evening.
So, I'm not alone. I still have my mom-in-law's love, and I'm getting along just fine. I have friends. I have family.
I have me and that isn't such a bad thing to have either.
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